Marriage | StJohns

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Quick Glance: What does the draft framework say about marriage?

St John’s holds that the heart of Christian marriage is covenantal commitment expressed before God, rather than any single legal form.

We affirm:

commitment, faithfulness, honesty, mutuality
covenants made intentionally and with witnesses
diverse ways in which people enter committed relationships today

We do not impose a single prescriptive model for every couple, but we support couples in discerning how to honour God in their commitments.

Marriage: Full Statement (draft)

We recognise that all relationships and commitments, irrespective of sexuality, are deeply personal and that individuals must seek God’s wisdom in their relationships. While the church upholds biblical principles of love, faithfulness, and covenantal integrity, we do not take a prescriptive stance on whether legal marriage is required for a valid union. We understand covenantal integrity to involve an explicit, intentional commitment made before God and witnessed by others, rather than a purely private declaration between two people. Our role is to offer pastoral care and discipleship, walking alongside individuals as they navigate their commitments before God. We trust believers to prayerfully discern how to honour God in their relationships and do not impose a singular framework for what constitutes a valid marriage.

Biblical and Theological Themes

Marriage as Covenant

Scripture describes marriage using covenant language, rooted in faithfulness, mutual commitment, and self-giving love (Genesis 2:24; Hosea 2:19–20; Ephesians 5:21–33). Covenant reflects God’s own faithful character.

For St John’s, the heart of Christian marriage is commitment expressed before God, rather than a single legal, cultural, or ceremonial form.

When God makes covenants, they are visible and public (Gen 17, Exodus 24:3-8, Luke 22:20). And we can see covenants being made between people throughout the bible (Genesis 31:44-54, 1 Samuel 18:1-4 and Genesis 21:22-31).

Imago Dei and Human Relationships

All people are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:26–27). Relationships that embody dignity, faithfulness, mutuality, and love reflect that image.

Jesus’ Vision of Life Together

Jesus consistently centred relationship, love, and fidelity over legalism or social conformity. He honoured relationships that demonstrated faithfulness and challenged those that used religious structures to exclude or burden others.

Discipleship and Discernment

Throughout Scripture, God calls people into wisdom, prayer, and discernment (Philippians 1:9–10; James 1:5). St John’s trusts believers to seek God’s guidance in the shape and commitments of their relationships.

Historical and Pastoral Context

Christian marriage has taken many forms through history: covenantal, communal, civil and sacramental. Legal marriage has changed significantly across cultures and eras. In today’s context, people enter committed relationships in varied ways. Many seek to honour God faithfully without fitting into a single fixed model. St John’s responds pastorally to this reality, not lowering the importance of commitment, but broadening our ability to walk with people well.

What We Mean (Plain Language)

“Covenantal integrity”

By this, we mean relationships marked by:

faithfulness
honesty
mutual support
shared responsibility
commitment made intentionally before God

It does not require a specific ceremony or legal recognition. But as seen in the biblical section, a covenant is not something hidden, but rather a clear, upfront agreement with witnesses and/or immediate outward signs.

“Not prescriptive about legal marriage”

We are not saying legal marriage is unimportant; many couples will and should pursue it.
We are saying that pastoral wisdom should not be reduced to a single rule for all people in all circumstances.

“Pastoral care and discipleship”

Leaders walk with couples as they:

pray
discern commitment
examine motivations
consider practical, spiritual, and relational implications
make decisions before God

“Do not impose a singular framework for what constitutes a valid marriage.”

By this, we mean that we will not impose one way for a couple to be in a covenantal relationship. We do, however, think it is important that there is a witnessed agreement when a couple enter into a ‘marriage’. What this looks like will be down to each couple and their discernment with God.

What this does Not mean

It does not diminish the seriousness of commitment.
It does not treat relationships casually.
It does not imply “anything goes.”
It does not remove accountability from leaders or couples.
It does not reduce marriage to a matter of personal preference.
It does not mean legal marriage has no value — only that it is not the only faithful expression.

Pastoral Approach

A couple seeking support can expect:

a listening ear
guidance in prayer and discernment
invitation to reflect on covenant, faithfulness, and mutuality
support in navigating conflict or uncertainty
leadership that values character over conformity
a commitment to journeying with them, not prescribing outcomes

The church family may support couples in:

marriage preparation
blessing ceremonies
legal weddings
covenant-making before God

The form depends on the couple’s discernment and context.

Implications for Church Life

Couples, regardless of sexuality, may seek the blessing or celebration of their covenant.
Pastors may lead or bless ceremonies that mark a couple’s covenant commitment, whether or not this includes a legal component.
Discernment of those who may be called to leadership focuses on character and faithfulness, not relationship structure.
Groups and leaders are encouraged to cultivate environments of honour, accountability, and support.

How This Reflects St John’s Vision & Values

Everyone gets to play: No couple is excluded from relationship with God or one another. No couple is excluded from belonging or serving at St John’s.
Culture of honour: We treat people with dignity, trusting their discernment before God.
Pursuing God’s will together: We engage Scripture deeply and walk in humility, holding space for the Spirit to guide.
Jesus: Christ’s love, mercy, and invitation shape how we interpret Scripture.